I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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