At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
