so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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