This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
