I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
