The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
