I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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