if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
