I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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