some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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