Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
