i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize