i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
