I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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