Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize