Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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