you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
