You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize