It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
