I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize