I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
