you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
