Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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