is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you inspire me to be a worse person
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
