To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
