eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
