So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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