Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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