Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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