How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
