so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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