What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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