the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
