She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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