There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize