i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
