OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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