Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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