were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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