I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
