Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
