she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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