the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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