you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
