well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
