I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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