im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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