You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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