Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
