Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
