the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
