hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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