i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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