I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
