if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
