I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The power of my boobs compel you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
