I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
