That's when you crack a 10am beer
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize