There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize