I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love accidental penises.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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